Karma's a snitch.

Karma (noun):

(1) action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation (2) the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation

Karma. I believe in it, do you? Maybe that's why I stand by the concept of "catching more flies with honey" (although I've heard from others you can catch just as many with sh*t). Now, the whole reincarnation concept doesn't really jive with my religious point of view, but karma... now, that's real enough for me. I don't know much, I suppose, and I'm not the wisest of the bunch, but I can definitely comment on the things I've seen. In my mind, you get back what you put in to life, whether that be love or hate, good or evil, kindness or cruelty. It's a chain reaction that WILL make its way back to the originator, even if it takes a while.

Over the past few years, I have seen some of the most wonderful, kind, and loving people I know be betrayed, overrun, and downtrodden by other human beings. Some have been promised love and faithfulness, and then have had it cruelly yanked away. Some have earned respect and promotion, but have been passed over due to greed and the self-interest of others. Despite receiving a seemingly bad hand in the game of life, they continued to do what they do best: love others and love God, trusting in the hope of Romans 8:28 that "in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

You want to know the great part about all of this? It may not have been the next day, the next month, or the next year (and in fact, some are still going through their lowest times), but things turned (or will turn) around.  Now, these good people are being rewarded with success beyond their dreams, with love that remains loyal and true, with respect, with health, with financial well-being, and most importantly... with happiness. Although I do not wish unhappiness upon anyone, it is interesting to note the current outcomes for those individuals whose actions caused the initial hurt in the lives of my friends and family. For the most part, those who exhibited greed, arrogance, selfishness, unfaithfulness, and hate towards others are finding themselves in situations of failure, betrayal, abandonment, loneliness, and unhappiness. I do not rejoice in seeing others in these situations, but it does make me contemplate to what degree their own actions have contributed to the shaping of their current problems.

So yes, I think that karma, or at least something like it, does exist. My advice to all of my 2.36 readers? Treat others as you wish to be treated. I believe that those who act selfishly will be hurt by the self-serving act of another. I believe that those who hurt others through lying, betrayal, or greed will eventually find their own dreams or happiness crushed by someone that acts in the same fashion. By the same token, I believe that those who show kindness, love, and respect towards others will receive the same. BE GOOD. BE KIND. BE GENEROUS. Be love to the world around you, and you will see it repaid.

As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma.  ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.  ~Elbert Hubbard

Before you begin on the journey of revenge, dig two graves.  ~Proverb  

The things I might have done...

Do you ever have one of those moments where you're reminded of something from your past... maybe something that you did, something you said, or something that was said or done to you? Do you ever wonder what might have been different in your life had you simply made a different choice at some crucial (or even some mundane) junction? I think we all have those times, don't you? I don't know, I guess it's kind of a chance to play "what if," as it were.

I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had decided to follow through on my notion to become a National Geographic photographer and spend my days capturing incredible images of our planet and people. I wonder what would have happened had I not had the strictest parents of all mankind. I wonder how I would have turned out had I not been best friends with my ya-ya's in high school, or roomed with a certain Norah Kate at UK. Would I have been so different if I had never played sports? Would my personality be so different if my little brother hadn't knocked out my front tooth (yes, a permanent one) when we played in the yard?

I can't say that I have any regrets, you know? I mean, sure, there are things that I would do differently if confronted with the same situation today, but I suppose part of that is the wisdom that comes from being able to make your own mistakes. But are they regrets? Nope. Not at all. Every wonderful or horrible, generous or selfish, truthful or deceitful, loving or hateful thing I've done... every choice that I've made, right or wrong... every action that has been made to support me or to break me down has served to mold me into the woman I am today. And you know what? I like who I've turned out to be! No, I'm not perfect, and I'll be the first to admit it, but I'm happy being exactly who I am: Jessica Brooke Duncan.

So who in the heck cares about the "could haves" and the "would haves" of my yesterdays and my last weeks and my years past? What I'm excited about are the "will be's" and the "yet to comes" of all of my tomorrows. Some words of advice from the vast wisdom (hardy har har) I've gained in my quarter-of-a-century of existence are to LOVE YOURSELF. Realize that everything that you have experienced, no matter how great or how terrible, has served to create a wholly unique individual... you! No one on this earth is exactly like you, so rejoice in the beauty and the imperfection of your uniqueness. Learn from your past, but don't dwell in it. Live in today, and dream of tomorrow.

Just a stay-at-home mom...

Some well-meaning person made a comment in conversation with my mother and me this past month that, while seemingly innocuous, cut pretty deep. My mother (always full of grace and tact), simply smiled at the words, but when she and I quickly glanced at one another, I knew that her feelings had been hurt. Another proud mother, while bragging about her college-bound daughter, boasted something like, "she's not just going to be a stay-at-home mom, you know," never comprehending that my mom had chosen to leave her career in order to pursue the raising of me, my three brothers, and my younger sister. With the act of her simple boast, this other mother implied that staying at home with one's children was a lesser accomplishment than going to work at an office, a clinic, or some other place of business each day... and had thoroughly insulted my mom.

After our conversation with this woman, as we were walking away, I leaned over to my mom and put an arm around her shoulders. I said, "I am proud of you for staying at home with us. I wouldn't have traded your time with us for anything!" And it's true... I wouldn't!

How dare this other woman make my mother feel that she had chosen the lesser path in life!? Without her love and guidance, without her tireless support, I honestly doubt that any of us children would have made it to the places we've been or accomplished the things that we have. I cannot put a price tag on the value of packed lunches (even if we couldn't afford Lunchables), of daily handwritten notes of love and encouragement, of folded laundry, of straightened beds, of errands run, of dinners cooked, of forgotten homework delivered to the school, of a shoulder to cry on, and of warm hugs to hold us in times of sadness. She has spent countless nights staying up late while everyone else sleeps in order to wash those sports uniforms that we somehow forgot that we needed the next day. She has awoken early countless mornings to prepare breakfast, pack lunches, and ensure that every need we had was taken care of. No, we weren't blessed as some families with the financial riches that dual incomes may have provided, but we were by far richer than many in love.

My mother was the glue that held and still holds our busy, busy household together. There is NO salary that can award her the compensation that she deserves. She is truly a treasure, and should NEVER be ashamed or feel "less than" for having chosen to place her focus on her family. Although I have not chosen to follow in her path in this regard, I appreciate that she continues to support me in my goals and in my dreams.

So, to all mothers who choose to be a "stay-at-home" mom, I applaud you, and I thank you. Thank you for choosing to be the backbone of your family. Thank you for all that you do, seen or unseen, appreciated or unnoticed. You are amazing. You are wonderful. You are loved. You are appreciated. You should NEVER feel put down by someone's ignorant comment that demeans your chosen profession. Hold your head up high with the knowledge that you can KNOW you made a difference in the lives of your children, whether or not they realize it or appreciate it at the time. As the child of a stay-at-home mom (the best, in my opinion), thank you.

And Mom? I love you. You da bomb.

Murray Tigers... Rawrrrrrrrr!!!!

Yep, I’ve taken a month off from the blog. In all fairness, it was my month off from rotations. Jonathan and I went to Las Vegas for the wedding of two of our very good friends, Brett and Julia. (Ps… she is a Las Vegas native. It was not officiated by Elvis or Darth Vader, for all of you thinking it was one of “those” weddings. It was very beautiful and gorgeous-like.)

After that, we stayed in Indianapolis for a while, visiting family, attending his niece’s high school graduation, and doing other fun things. When we came back to Lexington, we promptly drove on out to good ol’ Olive Hill, Kentucky for my family reunion on my mom’s side. It was great seeing all of my cousins, aunts, and uncles, as well as my grandma and papaw. I’m really glad Jonathan was able to meet all of them, and to see a small piece of how I grew up.

Since then, I’ve traveled down to Murray, Kentucky to stay with my parents during the month of July. My dad is the head football coach at Murray High School, and conveniently, they’ve just moved into a house across from the football practice field. Saves on gas, no? I’m excited to live with them this month (I have a rotation in Mayfield, which is just down the road), because I don’t know if there will ever be another time in my life where I’m living at home with them quite like this. Growing up is definitely bittersweet.

This month’s pharmacy rotation is my community pharmacy rotation. I’m spending my days at Duncan Prescription Shop in Mayfield, Kentucky, where Sam Willett is the pharmacist in charge. With a week under my belt, I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying my time here. I’ve had a community pharmacy rotation before, after my 1st year of pharmacy school, but this seems far, far better. Sam is really doing a great job of being a TEACHER of the profession of pharmacy. In one week, not only have I adequately learned the dispensing system of the pharmacy, but I’ve trained for an MTM program we’ll be working on in the coming weeks, learned a little about how the weekly reports and finances are managed at this pharmacy, practiced reading and interpreting LTCF notes, dispensed unit-dose medications for several area nursing homes, and so much more!

Sam is so approachable and encouraging… he is definitely seeking to help me make the most of this rotation!!! I really appreciate the way he answers my questions. In all honestly, I’m kind of getting tired of the “canned” answers I’ve received from some people about advice for the future, but Sam just tells it like it is! He’s made some great recommendations for post-graduation plans, and has really made me start thinking about becoming a Certified Diabetes Educator.

So yeah… it’s only been one week, but it’s been a great one! I’m enjoying being able to get up and run in the morning, work during the day, lift after work, and then spend the evenings with my family. So far, a great month! One of the only downsides is that I’m missing the most important person in my life (Jonathan Holmes) very much…

And in the blue trunks...

I am so excited to get back to Lexington this weekend! Jonathan came up to Indianapolis last weekend, but we didn't get to hang out nearly as much as we wanted (had a lot of "real life" things to take care of). We did get to go to the Indianapolis Children's Museum on Sunday, and that was really a lot of fun... yes, I have the mentality of a four-year-old.

But anyway... Lexington. I have to admit, I'm really going to miss that city when I move to Indianapolis next year. (Does it really count as a city? Maybe a town?) I've been a Lexingtonian for the past 7 years of my life (geez I'm old), and it has definitely grown on me. As for THIS weekend, all I really want to do is relax and spend some time eating some yummy food with Jon. We're going to watch the UFC fight between Rampage and Rashad at B-Dubs on Saturday, but other than that, I will definitely be relaxing (welllll... I may force myself to go shoe shopping).

Rotation Update

What's new with the Lilly rotation? Well... over the past 3 weeks, not only have I been trying to get acquainted with the ins and outs of the pharmaceutical industry, but I've been working on a big(ish) project. So what's my topic? "Healthcare Reform and Medicaid: Finding Direction in a Changing Environment." It's definitely been a learning curve, to say the least. I like to try to stay up to date on current events, but let's be honest... between pharmacy school, MBA classes, work, and  my quasi-addiction to gym time, when do I have the time to curl up with a few thousand pages of reform? (Sounds like so much fun, right?) Anyway... I basically looked at the changes to Medicaid that are most relevant to the pharmaceutical industry, Medicaid payers, and Medicaid patients. From those changes, and from what I believed the reactions of states and managed Medicaid would be, I tried to create some important "areas of interest" for Lilly to look into as they try to adapt to the changing environment. Doesn't sound like much, I guess, but between meetings, trying not to get lost, and making sure I catch the parking shuttle... it's had me working pretty hard these past few weeks. The final drafts of my paper (8 pages single spaced with 8 appendices, thank you very much), my presentation, and my executive summary (Who knew that once you get in the real world you get Cliffs Notes for things? Sure would have been nice in therapeutics the past few years.) are due today and I'm pretty sure I'm rocking it out. Well, at least as much rocking out as can be done by a newbie who has been exposed to it for three weeks. My presentation is Tuesday morning... wish me luck!!!!

This Week's Advice for the Gym:

1. 
   
   Don't wear fitted hats to the gym if you want to be taken seriously.
2. 
   
   Don't try have a conversation with the girl with lifting gloves who is benching more than you. She's not there to socialize.
3. 
   
   Don't make up crazy exercises that you think make you look "hardcore." They don't. Most people who know what they're doing are worried you're going to hurt yourself or someone else.
4. 
   
   Please bathe at least once in the past couple of days. Please. Everyone gets a little funky if they're working out hard enough, but when you progress to "doodoo butter" levels, it's time to find the soap.
5. 
   
   If you're doing multiple sets on a machine/free weight and someone else needs to use it, please let them work in sets. You'd appreciate the same courtesy.

Halfway through my first rotation at Eli Lilly!

It literally feels like yesterday that we started pharmacy school. Now, I'm finished with the didactic portion of school, and have one year left (full of ten rotations in different practice areas). Time flies!!!! How am I feeling? Well... it's a mixed bag I guess. One, I am so, so, so relieved that I never have to sit through another lecture (well... still have to finish those last few MBA classes, but you know what I mean). Two, I am absolutely terrified of going through rotations. Yes, I've received a great education from one of the best colleges of pharmacy in the nation, but I still feel nervous now that I know I'll be faced with actual patients, instead of just cases in class. Three, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, and that also makes me a little nervy. I know that I want to utilize both my PharmD and my MBA... but how? Hopefully my rotations will help me find the area where I am happiest and can do the most good. I've signed up for a variety of different practice areas (industry, clinical, community, retail management, hospital management, etc.), so we'll see where I'm led!


This month I'm in industry... here I sit, nine days into the first of ten rotations (wow!). I'm in Indianapolis this month, spending my four weeks with Eli Lilly. It's been a crash course, that I can tell you. We're taught a lot about clinical or hospital pharmacy while we're in pharmacy school, a little about community pharmacy, but almost nothing about a pharmacist's role in Pharma or in insurance/managed care. Walking through the doors at Lilly Corporate Center two weeks ago, I can honestly say I had no idea what to expect; I knew that my rotation was in "B2B/Strategic Marketing," but other than that... clueless.

I know that there is a lot that I have yet to learn about industry... and I mean that... a lot. However, it's been so interesting to see just how many places pharmacists have found a niche at Lilly. There are pharmacists in research, manufacturing, quality assurance, marketing, B2B, medical and outcome liaisons, sales, global strategic pricing, disease state management, regulatory affairs, medical information, hospital groups, and so much more! Something I've found particularly interesting is the number of pharmacists with whom I've spoken that still continue to practice their patient care skills by working occasional shifts at a hospital or community pharmacy on the weekend. Although I definitely have to say that I miss actually seeing that patients that I'm impacting, my experiences here thus far have been really enlightening and have changed my opinion of the pharmaceutical industry in some ways. I'm not sure if industry is right for me, but I'm still keeping an open mind as I finish my rotation (I'm really enjoying it thus far). My final project is a little overwhelming, but I'm sure I can handle it, especially with God's help and support from Jonathan and my family.